Saturday, October 15, 2011

In grim spirit no more

I've always been fairly ok with the idea of putting my thoughts in a public space, but lately I haven't had a whole lot I've wanted to share. So here it is.

Thesis is a requirement to graduate and in my college life this is the most challenging activity. Mind you individual ang thesis sa Socio. 
Since I’m now done with my thesis I'm happy as a clam. 
My thesis entitled "Interracial marriage and cultural adjustments: A study of Filipino women and Caucasian men marriages at Burol Main, Dasmarinas, Cavite." 

Living in the Philippines, I was intrigued by the numerous intercultural couples here; my feelings for doing this study were ones of personal interest. This interest in cultures, intimate relationships, and thoughts other Filipino women had about this issue has created a desire within me to know more. 
 
interviewing one of my respondents

3 Intercultural couples were sampled for my study.  After interviewing my three respondents and after analyzing their written life story and interview data to find an issue to compare and contrast between the three, it was very apparent that all three of them have had very 
different, yet interesting experiences. 


My clock says 3 am... so sabog!! 
As many of you know, for the past couple of weeks I've definitely been having the sleepless nights and yes the occasional worry. I’m usually a very good sleeper. The amount of stress I am under is so overwhelming I am surprised that my body hasn't shut down under the pressure of the chronic stress. And I still have so much to do that it feels like my life will end the day after my defense. 

PS. Notice how I love wearing black shirts.

I finally defended my thesis in a presentation last October 10. Monday was the big day for me. Mom and dad woke up early and we had breakfast together.  I arrived a little bit early.  I was super nervous to present.  I remember thinking that I was going to pass out. I put a great deal of work into researching and writing my thesis and I just wanted that to show through my nerves. In 6pm my defense began. Oh my god I was a blithering idiot during my defense.  My voice cracked. Even when I read my stuff, I stumble over words. Overall the presentation went wenkwankI expected all those major criticisms and suggestions  on ways I could strength things here and there, plus ideas for future avenues of research..  It’s hard to believe that all that hard and steady work culminated in a few minutes. So, what’s the first thing I did after my defense? I cried! I went home late that night and burst into tears, thinking, "Is that it?"  I could have done better. I think the fatigue and stress all caught up to me in that moment. 

I went back to school the very next day to submit my OJT terminal report. My adviser has repeatedly told me that nothing to worry about because I passed. What a relief that is! October 11 was my most successful night of sleep, and it consisted of 13 hours of sleep. Talk about paying my sleep debt. 

Yesterday, I submitted the final copy of my thesis and had that sense of completion. And just like that my thesis has been over! I passed!  I felt proud  of the end product. 

The deed is done, and I may not look at my thesis again for a few years.