Baccalaurete Mass

Date: March 23, 2012, 5:00 pm

Location: UST Grandstand

Proud to be a neo-centennial graduate 

I love you forever UST and 4SCL

Part II: Letter to Ryan

Deareast Ryan, 

Oh my goodness, where do I begin? 

Since this is a 'love letter' a la Robin Sneed. I am not often lost for words, but this is one time when I feel somewhat awkward. Hello Ryan. I always had a kind of a crush on you.  A little crush that grew into something more. This was hardly a secret, since my friends were well aware of it. 

As the days goes by I felt something strange as I look into your face my heart beats are not the same. Your gorgeous face I do see before me. That huge, beaming smile that made everyone else want to smile too. You make me smile like crazy. Whenever I see you, even for a few seconds, it brightens up even my worst days. You sound so perfect, everything about you makes me want you even more than I already did. Everyday that goes by I feel myself just falling for you. I couldn’t stop thinking that all night. Sometimes I wish we were in different places in our lives and I think about how we could be together in a perfect world. 

Last night I felt sick. I could feel my heart break, just tearing up into two pieces. I wanted to cry. Pining over you from afar. Not seeing you is the worst part of the summer. 

"Sana tayo na lang." Days like today make me think that it will never happen. No matter how much I wish for it to be like that.  It sucks you know? It really does killing me on the inside and knowing that I can’t do anything about it is hurting me so much. I know I might not be the most prettiest girl, I might not have the perfect smile, or the most skinniest body, but I know I do have a perfect heart that will always love you through everything no matter what.  

My admiration for you  was the first of many secret crushes, loves that lived only in the margins of notebooks, in doodles and daydreams, in imaginary plans and playlists.

You have no idea, you have no clue just how much I think about you. I try not to stare, I try not to hide, I try not to show that I have always lied. 

I have so much to say, I would love to say it all today. But I cant, for a certain reason, to my heart, that would be a total treason. Wanting to protect my heart from unnecessary bruises and cuts and it could backfire and ruin my friendship with you. So I keep it down inside my heart. I long to tell you, these many things. Maybe I will someday, and we will see what it brings. I promise you, they will come out, someday, someway.

Before I bid farewell for now, I wish to share with you a song which I sing in my heart to you. 

Liham para kay Ryan

 

Ryan,

Kamusta na ang unang araw ng iyong bakasyon? Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan ang liham na to. Walang oras na hindi kita naiisip.  

Habang ang karamihan sa mga kababaihan ay baliw na baliw sa'yo dahil sa angkin mong kagwapuhan at talento tila wala itong epekto sa akin. Pero tignan mo kung paano maglaro ang panahon. Dahil ngayon higit pa sa baliw ang nadarama ko para sa'yo. Marahil nga’y hindi mo sukat akalain, na sa hindi mo inaasahang sandali ay biglang sumapit itong pahat na liham kong ito, upang ipabatid ko sa iyo ang banal na adhika ng aking puso.

Nagbago ang lahat ng ako ay naimbintahan sa isang party inisip ko agad na kailangan ko ng escort. Hindi kita direktang inimbitahan pero nagulat ako ng sabihin mo sakin "Manghihiram pa ako ng damit." Wala akong plano na pumunta kaya sinabi ko sa'yo "Yes or No lang. Sa'yo nakadepende kung pupunta ba tayo o hindi." Anong gulat ko ng sinabi mong "YES" ng pabulong. Akala mo siguro ay hindi ko narinig yun kaya tinanong kita "sure ka?"  umakyat ka na sa kwarto nyo para magbihis. Syempre tayong dalawa ang bida sa party lalo ka na  dahil sa subrang guwapo at kisig mo lahat ay napapatingin at yung ibang bisita naman inakala  nila na kasintahan kita "How I wish" bulong sa sarili. Nakakatuwang alalahanin pareho man tayong hindi handa pero tayo ay nagpunta pa rin. Kumain ng masarap na pagkain, ulam ang masayang kwentuhan at himagas ang malakas na tawanan. Kinagabihan din yun ng di inaasahan bawat kilos at galaw mo'y aking inaabangan, tahimik na nagmamasid at ang presensya mo ay nais ko laging masilayan. Mas nakakatawang isipin dahil sa salitang "Yes"  nagkaroon ng kahulugan  at naging kumplikado ang lahat.

Kahapon, habang binubuksan mo ang iyong payong papauwi, sumabay sa ulan, sa patak damdamin ay lumuluha. Maaring yun na ang huli nating pagkikita. Tapos na ang buhay ko sa kolehiyo habang ikaw ay nagsisimula pa lamang. Masasabing magkikita pa rin tayo pero alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi na tayo magiging tulad ng dati. Tulad ng dati na araw-araw nakakasama kumain sa tanghalian at hapunan, kakwentuhan ng kung anu-anong bagay, kabiruan at kalaro. Hindi pa ako handa iwan ang buhay kolehiyo na kinagisnan ko kasama ka pero wala na kong magagawa kundi magbalik tanaw na lang sa ating masasayang alaala at magpatutuloy sa mundong mas malaki kaysa sa apat na sulok ng silid-aralan.

Nais ko sanang isulat ito sa papel at ibigay sa'yo ngunit payo ng isang kaibigan na mas makakabuti kung huwag na lamang.  Marahil sa takot na rin  na tapatin mo ako sa masalit na katotohanan. Punong-puon ng "What IFs" ang isip ko. Hindi ko alam ba't ba ako natatakot o sadyang ayaw sa katotohanan na magmumula sa'yo. Sana ako ang makahanap ng daan patungo sa'yo pero sa ngayon ‘Kumakapit na lang sa natitirang sana’ kaya lang, palaging ganun na lang ba? Kailan kaya ako magiging matapang, kailan kaya ako magkaka-lakas ng loob na sabihin sa'yo itong tunay na nararamdaman. Wala na ba talaga akong magagawa?

                       

Ganun pa man ako'y umaasa na magkikita pa tayong muli sa susunod nating karera kung saan ako ay isang embahador ng Pilipinas sa Monaco at ikaw ay isa ng ganap na inhinyero. Sana payagan tayo ng tadhana at kapalaran na masabi ko sa'yo ito ng harapan at umaasang bibigkasin mo rin ang mga salitang nais kong marinig. Sana payagan tayo ng tadhana at kapalaran na maituro mo sa akin ang agham ng pag-ibig. Sana pwede, sana.

Your Ms. Right,

Shari

Birthday blog

Jheesuzz it's March already. I know this blog post is a month overdue but  I still want to share it.  Like last three years, I had two birthdays. I spend it with the right people. I'm 21 now and my birthday was last February 24 as Friday fell this year I decided to go home for my actual birthday  as I had heard promises of making it a big deal.. Thanks EVERYONE for making it special. I'm unconditionally blessed! I was a year older and more happier. :) After this, I swear on my nutella jar, that I will organize my schedule and allot time for blogging so my posts will be timelier. I have a lot of updating to do. Sorry been lazy! . So wait for that.

Karaoke Republic

 

 Na pa smile ako sa surprise na ito

I'm too happy, I can barely control myself

 

the men behind my pre-birthday celebration

they bought these bouquet and cake for me

  I felt like a princess at this point!

Orchard Golf & Country Club

 I woke up with this awesome sign

drinking session with friends

Ended my birthday with bowl of laughter, hugs and treats

 My birthday cakes

Some celebrities greeted me on Twitter and I have to thank my friend Alessandra for that.  @sharibautista see for yourself. And Oh! this is the highlight

Yes! Alaric Yuson famously known as Anygma, founder of Fliptop greeted me on Facebook. No words can express how happy/suprised I am.  ♥

Project R/C car

I think I've mentioned before that I joined Make-A-Wish Philippines. The mission of Make-A-Wish foundation is to grant the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy.

Our Wish child is Maurice a 10 year old boy who has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. He is currently undergoing treatment in the Philippine Children's Medical Center in Quezon Avenue. His wish is to have a blue or a green R/C car.  Maurice and his family were fetched in the hospital by a blue car, we all had a hearty meal in Max's (Tiendesitas) and held our Wish-Granting activity at Fun Ranch Ortigas, Pasig City.

 

 wish granted 

with Maurice and his family

Looking forward to our next wish granting!